☻ This sms can only be read by a SEXY person: Try again...... Nothing? Sorry, i guess your just not SEXY..HEY! dont force it, ugly git!!
☻ Yo mama's so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her.
☻ Ive got a tongue that'll blow ur mind let me hit u wid a 69 kiss me, caress me, slowly undress me I may seem defenceless, but baby I can fuck u senseless.
☻ Don't be sad... don't feel blue... Frankenstein was ugly too...
☻ Wat's the diff between pulling a curtain and a panty? ANS: When U pull a curtain, it means tat the show is over. But pulling down a panty means IT'S SHOWTIME!
☻ I really, deeply wish tat u r here wif me in my room, on my bed & lights is off & we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my.. new watch tat glow in the dark
☻ What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support people are going to think we're nuts!
☻ Why are women like parking spaces?... Bcoz the good ones are always taken and the rest are all disabled!
☻ A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home
☻ According 2 Chinese Docs, a WoMaN'S BoDy HaS Five RooMS: 1.FACE-show room 2.BOOBS-play room 3.TUMMY-store room 4.VAGINA-men's room 5.ANUS-emergency room
☻ Hi i'm an alien i'm checking for some chicks in your phonebook searching..... searching..... searching..... sorry no chicks found. conclusion, your are gay!
☻ RECIPE 4 LUV CAKE:spread legs,squeeze + massage milk pots,check frequently with midfinger,add banana,work in-out till well
☻ I once had a One2One with a virgin, she teased me till i had an Erikson, sucked me till my face went Orange, till busted my Siemen all over her Nokias!
☻ Humpty Dumpty fucked a fat whore, Humpty Dumpty blew on the floor. All the kings horses & all the kings men, laid the slut down & fucked her again!
☻ NEWSFLASH:) Earthquake in Pakistan...50,000 dead...U.S.A sending money, France sending food, Britain sending replacement paki's!!!
☻ i went for a walk with my uncle jim, when somebody threw a tomato
at him, tomatos dont hurt i replied with a grin. they fucking well
do when theyre still in the tin.....
☻ Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, spontaneous, good-looking, nice friends, charming, funny, well...Enough about ME! How about you?
☻ Beat me bash me bite my bum, ill whip u strip u til u cum, suck me fuck me lick me out, pull my nipples til i shout
☻ Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly!
☻ sex is a sensation. It's about a man's temtation, putting his location in a woman's destination. Do you understand the explanation or do you need a demonstration?
☻ BOY : May I hold your hand ??
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy
☻ GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
☻Advantages of breast milk
A. No need to boli
B. Cat cannot steal
C.available in attractive containers
D.Liked by all age groups
E.Ek Par Ek FREE
☻23 useless things in a man's body
20 nails cannot be hammered
2 balls u cannot throw
1 cock cannot crow
Don't laugh gals ur pussy cannot catch mouse
| ☻Cocktail | Is it d whiskey dat makes u frisky.Is it d brandy dat makes u randy,Is it d gin dat makes u slip in,Is it d rum dat makes u cum! |
| ☻Triplets or Twins | I want triplets, You want twins, Lets get in bed and see who wins! |
| ☻satisfy a woman | HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN; caress, excite, cuddle, fascinate, spoil, kiss, rub, tease, pamper, console, worship, respect & love.HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN; blow job |
| ☻Life is like a dick | Life is like a dick! When it's hard Fuck it! |
| ☻Rainbow | Zippy & Bungle,went 2 da jungle havin sum marvelous fun, Zippy got silly,popped out his willy & stuck it up Bungles bum! |
| ☻Love & War | LETS PLAY WAR!! You lay down and i'll blow the shit out of you! |
| ☻Little Girl | When i was a girl,i had a little quim,i sat upon my bed & put a finger in,now im a woman & full of grace & charm,I can get 4fingers in & HALF MY FUCKIN ARM!! |
| ☻Virginity | Virginity is like a balloon, one prick and it's gone forever! |
| ☻Question Time | Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur wall? A)walnuts Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur chest? A)chestnuts Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur chin? A)a mouth full of cock! |
| ☻The Truth | QUESTION)Wots the difference between ur job & ur girlfriend? ANSWER)ur job always sucks!!!!! |
| ☻Pringles | Sex is like a pack of Pringles! Once you pop, you can't stop!! |
| ☻Marriage | A man woz arranged 2 b married!He had a choice of 3 women!1st woz a rich docter,2nd woz a poor cleaner & 3rd woz a prostitute!WHO DID HE PICK?The 1 wiv big tits! |
| ☻Getting Old | U NO UR GETTIN OLD IF 1)if ur age woz ur shoe size theyd b a mile long 2)doin it 5 times a nite means gettin up to piss 3)the only way u get a 69 is playin bingo |
| ☻Baby Please | Of all the babes ur my selection,please dont giv me a rejection,my teeth are clean for ur inspection,so giv my mouth a tongue injection! |
| ☻Pair of tights? | HOW MANY ANIMALS CAN U FIT IN A PAIR OF TIGHTS? 10 little piggies,2 calves,1 ass,1 pussy,1 beaver,loads of hares & 1 smelly fish! |
| ☻Sex+drugs | Sex+drugs+rock+rave,lets get drunk & misbehav,on weed+speed +little e's,well get drunk & talk 2 trees,u only live once & den u die,so fuck em all & lets get high! |
| ☻Men like toilets | Y MEN R LIKE TOILETS 1)dey r always out of order 2)dey stink 3)the nice ones r always engaged 4)dey consume large amounts of liquid 5)r constantlt full of shit! |
| ☻Mary's bush | Mary Mary, quite contrary, trim that pussy its too damn hairy!!! |
| ☻Horny | Roses are red, voilets are corny, when i think of you babes it makes me so HORNY!!! |
| ☻5 bad things | 5 BAD THINGS 2 SAY 2 A NAKED GUY 1)so dis explains ur car! 2)but still work,right? 3)r u cold? 4)shood i get a pump? 5)so i guess dis makes me d early bird! |
| ☻Hickory, dickory, dock | Hickory, dickory, dock,dis bitch woz suckin me cock,da clock struck 2,i dumped me goo,& dropped her at da end of da block |
| ☻Mary had a little lamb | Mary had a little lamb,she kept it in da backyard,wen she took her panties off,his wooly dick got hard! |
| ☻Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater | Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater,had a wife & liked to beat her,smacked her twice around da head, Fucked her arse & went 2 bed! |
| ☻Being a student | Being a student is so much fun,wen u have degrees in playin wiv tongues,if u be my teacher in how tongues flex,we'll both graduate in hot oral sex! |
| ☻Down on her Knees | Shes down on her knees,Eager to please,Wiv a throb of his nob in her gob,Wiv a tingle in his belly,his legs turn to jelly cos shes doin a fuckin good job! |
| ☻Cat and the Sausage | A cat tries 2 get a sausage out of a river,but gets its paws wet,then it sees a bigger 1 but falls in!MORAL OF THE STORY?The bigger the sausage the wetter the pussy! |
| ☻Oral sex | Oral sex can b so fine,wen u do a 69,u start 2 shake,moan & quiver,den u cum just like a river,den u lick it up in vain,wipe ur lips and start again! |
| ☻Mary's bike | Mary had a little bike,she rode it bak 2 front,all the time the wheels went round the spokes went up her cunt |
| ☻NewsFlash | *NEWSFLASH* Tell ALL your female friends that i can get 1000 tampons for ?1, No Strings attached but for a limited period ONLY! Its A bloody good deal ! |
| ☻Nutella | I love when you stick your little fingers in me deep and lick it all . Love always , Nutella. |
| ☻U and the Pope | do u know what's the diference between U geting laid, and the pope geting laid?? if the pope gets laid, it's a sin, and if U get laid, its a miracle!! :) |
| ☻Old Days | in days of old wen knights were bold + condoms wernt invented they tied socks around their cocks + people like u were prevented. |
| ☻Sex, Drugs + Birthcontrol | Sex, Drugs, Rock and Roll Speed, weed and birthcontrol, lifes a bitch, then u die, so fuck the world lets get high.. |
| ☻Kiss Me | Kiss's r blown + kiss's r wasted kiss's rnt kiss's unless they r tasted, kiss's spread germz + germz hated, so kiss me BABE im vacinated! |
| ☻How many letters | How many letters are in the Alphabet?? Nineteen. Because ET went Home on a UFO and the FBI went after him! |
| ☻My Roof? | last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and the sky.... then I thought where the fuck is my roof?? |
| ☻Foot and Mouth | mary had a little lamb,its name was little ralph,its burnin in a field right now cos its got foot and mouth |
| ☻Blondes | What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs? Some traffic signs say stop |
| ☻Operator | This is your mobile operator and we just found out you are too dumb to use your phone, so please put it on ground and start jumping on it . Thank you |
| ☻Blonde Womens legs | what did the blondes womens left leg say to the blonde womens right leg? don't know they never met! |
| ☻This Way Up | Pleas turn your mobile phone upside down now!!! Hurry 370HSSV 0773H |
| ☻I love you | This time im sure about wat i feel & im gonna say it i i l i lo i lov i love i love y i love yo i love young girls with Shaven Pussys! |
| ☻Mary's Lambs | Mary had 2 little lambs their names were Jack and Gypsy. One day they got foot and mouth and now they're black and crispy. |
| ☻Sheep | Group of sheep in field, one says i dont feel well. The others reply shut the fuck up your get us all shot. |
| ☻Butter | Your teeth are so yellow, i can't believe it's not butter!!! |
| ☻Condom factory | Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. |
| ☻Yo Mama | Yo mama's so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her. |
| ☻Mary Stinks | Mary had a smelly minge with pubes as dark as charcoal.So most the men go round the back and stick it up her arsehole! |
| ☻Mary's Duck | mary had a little lamb she also had a duck, she put them on the mantlepiece to see if they would fuck |
| ☻Tampons | whats the difference between a mini tampon..a middle tampon and a large tampon?....they r all stuck up cunts! |
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